Self…From Caterpillar To Butterfly. My Gupta Program Recovery.

Caterpillar: Myself Pre Gupta:

Self Compassion: This was a tricky one for me, since I never felt I deserved love or compassion.

Self Satisfaction: That had always sounded like being over full of myself compared with others, whereas I was trying to be like others, and to please them rather than just being myself.

Self Conceit: I didn’t aim to be conceited, or “big headed” and was used to being told I wasn’t good enough (which in my family meant being the best at everything.) So I never achieved enough to develop that conceit.

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Self Complacency: As with the other categories, above, I couldn’t be complacent because there was always greener grass, more beauty, higher achievements somewhere else.

Self Image: We see ourselves in a mirror and think that is how others see us. Then we take a selfie and wonder who that is. Perhaps how others see us is nothing like what we think it may be, maybe it is better, or maybe not.

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Butterfly: Myself Post Gupta:

Compassion: Once I started using the Compassion meditation I realised how being compassionate towards myself took away the pressure and enabled me to feel compassion without stress for myself and also for other people.

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Sort of empowered compassion: Satisfaction: I have come to understand that being satisfied with who I am doesn’t mean I am “self-satisfied” as used to insult someone. It means I am happy to be me as I am, without feeling the need to change to fit in with other people's expectations.
Conceit: as defined “Unduly favorable estimation of one's own abilities or worth; overly positive self-regard.“ I still hope not to be self conceited. I am aware of my strengths and my weaknesses, but they are what makes me human. Being human is a good way for me to be.
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Complacency: Nowadays I don’t want to be complacent because I love learning new things. I am happy to be me, but I enjoy the fun of growing by learning. Listening to other people’s ideas can help me grow. If I were complacent that probably wouldn’t happen. I’d be stuck in my mud.

Image: I am not unduly concerned about how others see me. If they like who I am, that is a bonus, but I am not seeking others’ approval in any way. I'm just happy to be me.

Happy to be.

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Margaret-Cory-Blooger-Moderator-Mentor

Margaret Cory

Having been forced to stop working aged 53 due to CFS, I was later diagnosed with Fibromyalgia as well. (With the added challenges of hypersensitivity to chemicals, smells, various foodstuffs, bright light, noise, etc.)

10 years later I found the Gupta Program and started my recovery. Wanting to pay back some small part of what I owe the Gupta Program I later volunteered to be a moderator in the Facebook Gupta Forum.

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